Flowers and Memories
by Yukina Mika
Summary: "When we grow up, let's open a flower shop together." He energetically said and he could envision Honebami and him running a flower shop. Honebami would be very happy, surrounded by the flowers that he loved so much. Note: Please don't read if you are triggered by fire or anything related to that.


_Hanakotoba – the language of flowers._

Honebami brought back a book about flowers and their meanings when he was barely being able to read.

"Flowers are pretty." He said when his twin, Namazuo, asked why he borrowed it.

His eyes sparkled as he sat at his desk, trying to absorb all he can despite the fact that he was just learning how to read. Whenever he came across a word he didn't know, he always got up and went on a search for their eldest brother, Ichigo or tried to copy the word into a paper so he could ask Ichigo later if the elder was not available.

"Honebami-nii, what is this flower?" A young Atsushi stumbled toward his brother who sat in the shade of a tree with a small white, multi-petals flower.

Smiling softly, he rose and patted his brother on the head. "That, Atsushi, is a daisy." He replied as his eyes twinkled when the little kid listen raptly and carefully held the delicate flower in his stubby hands. "Daisies symbolize many things like Love, Youth and Purity."

As the little child looked up to his brother with admiration, Namazuo – Honebami's dark-haired twin – jogged up to the duo with a small messy-haired child at his side and a grin crossed his face as he saw the twinkle in his twin's eyes. "Come on, Honebami, Atsushi! It's time to go back or Ichi-nii will worry sick!"

Atsushi gasped at the thought of their eldest brother falling sick due to worry and tugged frantically on his brother's sleeve. "Honebami-nii, let's get back." He urged, still carefully holding the flower in his hand.

"Alright…" He answered as the book he brought with him was securely tucked into his arms as he joined his brothers on the walk back to their home.

* * *

Honebami loved flowers.

Namazuo knew that from the way his eyes lit up when he was talking about them or the fact that he went to the library every week to return and borrow some books about flowers.

He could never understand why his twin loved those little plants but somehow, it suited the delicate Honebami. He was not against his twin's interest, not even when his twin always bothered him with his blabbering about those fragile plants.

"Flowers are pretty." Honebami replied when he asked his twin why he seemed to like flowers so much.

His twin's eyes – they were a pretty shade of purple – were sparkling and the gentle smile on the other's face was so beautiful. Delicate, gentle, beautiful Honebami…

So he smiled and took his twin's hands in his own. "When we grow up, let's open a flower shop together." He energetically said and he could envision Honebami and him running a flower shop. Honebami would be very happy, surrounded by flowers that he loved.

"Honebami-nii is not leaving his book again!" A young, messy-haired child cried as he tried to coax him toward the ice-cream cart. "I want to play with him!"

Namazuo sighed and squatted down to meet the child's eyes. "Gotou, leave him alone." He said with a stern edge in his voice. "Honebami will play with you later. He hasn't been able to read much with the babies' numerous ruckuses."

The little boy hiccupped but he nodded in understanding. "Honebami-nii is like Yagen." He said. "They are always reading books." At this, a pout appeared on the young child's face and Namazuo laughed.

"Well, it is their interest, after all." He chuckled and searched for some cashes. "Don't bother them okay? There's nothing bad with liking books." Turning to the child, he asked. "Which flavor do you want?"

Gotou replied almost immediately with a happy grin on his face. "Chocolate!"

Laughing, Namazuo ordered a chocolate ice-cream for his messy-haired brother.

* * *

"Have fun, guys!" Namazuo waved as their brothers filed onto the minivan driven by their cousin, Onimaru Kunitsuna.

Onimaru had dropped by and proposed to take the young Toushirou on a camping trip. The aim was to offer Ichigo some breathing space as he had been so busy lately and having to look after a dozen brothers was not a healthy idea of a summer break.

"Remember to phone us when you arrive." Ichigo was as worried as ever when he helped Akita get in the car. "Listen to Onimaru-san and Nakigitsune-san, ok?" He fretted over Gokotai as they recounted his kittens, all of which were sprawling all over the younger Toushirou's laps.

Yagen stopped him with a hand on his elder brother's shoulder and with Honebami's help; he tugged Ichigo away from the vehicle. "Have a safe trip, everyone." He saluted with a kind grin.

Yagen was staying behind to study for a scholarship for a top school. He was a small ambitious thing, aiming for a top-notch med-school when he was just a little junior high schooler. Of course, his brothers were supportive and wished for his success so no one fussed over him when he said he would be staying behind.

Namazuo and Honebami, though, were staying because someone needs to make sure that their Ichi-nii would not worry himself sick and of course, to dote on Yagen since the kid was working really hard to make his dream come true.

"Don't worry; we will look after Ichi-nii." Honebami promised and watched as the young faces lit up at his words. It was so pleasant to see them happily wished their brothers good luck with their respective tasks.

* * *

They left Honebami and Yagen at home to go out and buy some groceries.

Ichigo had been doing his best, looking after their younger siblings. It was hard to maintain the household with a dozen brothers by himself without the aid of their parents, who were no longer with them.

However, doing his best meant that Ichigo had been neglecting himself. And of course, all of his brothers knew about it. They were not blind to the bags under his eyes or his stiff shoulders.

They took it into their hands, arranging with some of their many relatives, namely Onimaru Kunitsuna and Nakigitsune, to take some of the younger ones off Ichigo's plate in a limited amount of time. Since Ichigo was very well-liked within their family, their offer was immediately accepted.

"Is it okay to let Honebami cook?" Ichigo asked worried as they were paying for the groceries. "You know how forgetful he can get." He continued his fussing even as they were on their way to get some souvenirs for their brothers back home.

Namazuo laughed because it was so like Ichigo to worry about his brothers. However, Honebami wasn't a child anymore. "Relax, Ichi-nii. Honebami can handle himself. He really does well in Home Economics." His laughter is clear and laid-back as he winked at his elder brother. "Honebami is really good, you know."

Ichigo seemed to relax at his words and the smile he sported was lighter as if the worries had been completely lifted from his mind

* * *

"Honebami-nii, can you help me with this?" Yagen popped into the kitchen with a thick textbook in his hand and a pencil on his ear.

Turning away from the stove, Honebami took a look at the textbook in his brother's hand and quirked an eyebrow. "It's better if you ask Namazuo. He is better at this than I am." He calmly replied.

"He is currently out with Ichi-nii." Yagen answered. "Please, Honebami-nii. I have a feeling this question is really important." He asked softly with a desperate edge in his voice that Honebami really hated to hear.

"Fine. Let's move this to your room." He eventually answered. "It will be more convenient there."

* * *

He knew something was wrong when he smelled something burning and it took him two seconds to figure out that he had not turned off the stove. Quickly, he bounded down the stairs, leaving a highly-alerted Yagen behind.

What greeted him made him turn rigid with shock.

The smoke was eye-watering and there were flames; hot, orange flames that licked away at the curtains and swallowed Ichigo's favorite apron.

"Honebami-nii?" There was a foreign edge of fear in Yagen's voice and his brother sounded so strangely young.

He wanted to move, to do something to get them out of their burning home but his muscles refused to obey. He was only a spectator through his very own eyes as Yagen struggled to get him to move.

"Snap out of it, Honebami-nii!" Yagen's voice was ringing in his ears yet it sounded so distant like they were miles apart and the words were blurry as they reached his ears. "Let's get out of here!" If he could, he would make sure that he never had to hear that desperation in Yagen's voice but he couldn't do a thing.

 _Leave!_ He wanted to yell. _Get out of here!_ He wanted Yagen to move, to save himself, not to stick around for a brother who could not move when crisis struck.

"Please, I'm not leaving you behind." By now, they had retreated to the top of the stairs. All thanked to Yagen's effort and his unwillingness to leave his brother behind. "We will be fine." He murmured, glancing around to draw an escape plan for them while whispering comforting words to his dazed brother.

 _We will be fine._ It was a chant, a chant that he kept repeating and somehow, his brother's soothing words did miracles to his nerves and slowly, he found himself being able to move.

At that moment, he heard the sound of the door being kicked down.

Hope rose in his chest and he hoped to see the familiar suits of firemen and what greeted him was Ichigo's bright blue hair, a light spot of color amongst the sea of flames and Namazuo's voice reached his ears.

"Honebami! Where are you?" His twin cried out. "Yagen! Can you hear me?"

Yagen snarled beside him, eyes turned dark with worry. "What are they doing here?" The boy mumbled before answering their calls. "We're upstairs. Turn back and get help!"

"We're coming for you!" Replied Ichigo as they forced their way toward the stairs.

"No, don't!" He was surprised when his voice came out strong and not dissolving like morning dews under the sun. "Go back!"

"Just wait for us." Namazuo yelled through the curtain of flames. "You'll be ok."

Sounds started to sound faraway and his eyes seemed to be blurry and his lungs were suddenly filled with something that smelled so awful that made him swayed on his feet.

"Oi, Honebami-nii!" Yagen's shout sounded in his ears but he did not and could not react. "Please hold on!"

His muscles were turning into water and Yagen's hands were steadying him before he could grasp what was happening.

"Honebami-nii!"

"Yagen! Honebami!"

"Brother!"

* * *

Namazuo had found another book about flowers at the local bookstore, one that he was sure Honebami hadn't had. Meanwhile, Ichigo found a medical book for Yagen. The little boy was into medicine and Namazuo knew that he would be happy with his present.

Ichigo paid for the books even though Namazuo insisted his brother to let him pay. Honestly, Ichigo was too courteous for his own good.

"Ichi-nii, you should have let me pay." Namazuo grumbled good-naturedly as they walked home. "Let your brothers do something for you for a change."

Ichigo laughed and Namazuo had a feeling he would ruff his raven hair if he wasn't carrying the groceries. "I enjoy spoiling you guys." He offered with a smirk.

Namazuo pouted and huffed at his brother's smirk. "Whatever." He wanted to say more but the words died in his throat when he saw smoke rising from the direction of his home.

* * *

 _Please be safe. Please be okay. Please…_

That was what on his mind as he raced down the streets with Ichigo.

They came to a stop before their house and the groceries in his arms dropped to the ground with a resounding 'thud'.

The house before their very eyes was being eaten away by the merciless, orange flames.

Their neighbors were already there, trying to put the flames down with sand, water and fire extinguishers.

Ichigo immediately asked the nearest person, a woman in her thirties. "Have you seen my brothers?" His voice was on the edge of panic and Namazuo tried to scan the crowd for the familiar faces of his brothers.

"No. I thought your brothers were all out." She spoke and for the first time, Ichigo cursed.

His golden eyes lingered cautiously on the flames but he shook his head determinedly and charged headfirst toward the door.

Hastily, Namazuo followed his lead, hoping against hope that they would be able to save Yagen and Honebami. They could not afford another funeral. The young ones would break if they lost two of their brothers.

"Honebami! Where are you?" He shouted as they busted down the door. "Yagen! Can you hear me?"

It was hot and the smoke was terrible yet he held on. He would not leave them in a burning house and neither would Ichigo.

Hope rose in his heart when he heard Yagen's voice shouting that they were upstairs.

Immediately, Ichigo replied. "We're coming for you."

True to his words, they tried to navigate through the flames and the furniture, heading toward the stairs.

"Just wait for us. You'll be ok." He tried to ignore Honebami's voice to go back and get help. Why should they when there was already help outside. Their brother's lives were more important. And who knew when the firemen would arrive.

It was a relief to see Yagen's raven hair but that relief turned to horror when he saw how Yagen was cradling his pale-haired twin.

"Namazuo, get him out!" Ichigo immediately issued orders. "I will carry Yagen."

Immediately, he got on his knees and Yagen loaded his twin onto his back. "Understood!" There was a sense of urgency as he raced to the door. Faintly, he heard Yagen opposing being carried but soon he yelped and stammered. Namazuo was pretty sure Ichigo had just disregarded Yagen's wish and just picked the child up.

Yet he wasn't interested in that. All he was focusing on was Honebami's weak breathing. The moment he stepped a foot out of the burning house, he collapsed onto his knees.

Everything was so blurry and before he knew it, he was slowly losing his grip on his consciousness.

* * *

 _Where was this? Who was he? What happened?_

Those questioned rang in his minds as he woke up on the bed, attached to machines and something in him hurt.

There was a man on his bedside. A man with hair the color of the sky – he wondered how he knew the color of the sky when he didn't even know who he was – and he was smiling at him with, what was it, relief?

"Thank goodness you're awake!" The man gushed with happiness and he was more confused than ever.

"Who are you?" His words came out a little bit cruel but he stared at the man. Something in him ached, screaming for him to do something but he did not know.

The happiness in the man's eyes seemed to shatter upon his words were spoken. "Who... am I?"

It hurt so much, seeing the way a person broke as the light in those golden eyes dimmed and wilted.

He tore his eyes away and then, he saw it.

Lying on the table beside the bed was a bouquet – albeit, a handmade one – of flowers. They were all of the same kind: small white, multi-petals flowers.

 _Love, Youth, Purity… and Faith…_

A voice whispered in his head and somehow, his heart seemed to ache more.

* * *

 _Honebami…_

That name rang in his head like a mantra the instance he opened his eyes. He didn't care how he looked in a hospital gown, his eyes searched for a certain pale-haired male.

"You are awake!" The voice of a blue-haired man snapped him out of his anxious search.

His eyes narrowed and he got a feeling he knew this man until a name popped into his mind. "Ichi… Ichi-nii?" There was a certain type of relief in the man's eyes that told him that he was right.

There was relief on his side, too when he realized he could only remember some faces.

"Are you feeling well?" Ichigo asked in a concerned voice and Namazuo focused on his brother's voice to calm his breathing.

Weakly, he chuckled. "I think I'm fine." He squeezed out the words despite the constant ring in his mind to find Honebami. "How are Yagen and Honebami?"

Ichigo's smile faltered and he swore he could see a shadow of pain crossed his brother's face. "Yagen is mostly fine." He seemed to be finding his words and Namazuo felt his heart squeezed at the thought of something – anything – happened to Honebami.

Sweet, gentle Honebami…

"And?" He asked, coaxing his brother to continue. He knew how to coax others. It was a special skill that was required when you had a dozen brothers to look after.

There was a hesitant edge in Ichigo's smile when his brothers took his hands. "Honebami seems fine when I was with him but…" He lingered at the words and after heaving a sigh, he continued with an almost steely determination in his eyes. "He forgot everything."

It was hard to process. Hard to accept that his twin, who had been beside him side they were both infants, now had no memories of him.

"You didn't forget, did you? Yagen didn't." Ichigo seemed to be on the run when he looked at his younger brother with such wide golden eyes. "I lost some of mine. I didn't remember my friends when they came to visit me. They were like strangers to me."

Namazuo tried to hold onto his words but his mind was slipping away into the void. He only remembered Honebami and his brothers. He searched hard and long but he couldn't remember the face of a person who was not his family.

"I think I can only remember our brothers." He stated, watching as hopelessness, relief and horror wrestled in his brother's eyes. "So where is Honebami?" He asked. "I want to see him."

* * *

Namazuo found his twin in a hospital gown, cradling a daisy in his palms. He seemed fascinated with the fragile plant yet when the door closed softly, he looked up defensively.

"Who are you?" His voice came out icy and cold.

Putting up a brave smile, Namazuo approached his twin. "Well, I don't know if Ichi-nii had told you about me but the name's Namazuo."

Honebami's pretty eyes – they seemed different from the old Honebami's – narrowed before he leaned back on his bed. "He has spoken of you."

Namazuo winced mentally as he crossed the room and tentatively settled beside his pale-haired brother on the bed. Honebami seemed like a different person. "You like flowers, don't you?"

The answer came almost immediately and he nearly cried. "They are pretty." However, there was a defensive edge in his twin's tone that made him want to laugh.

He was surprised when his body moved on its own and took Honebami's hands into his. "Then let's open a flower shop together, shall we?" The words were out before he could help himself.

When the answer came, he was pleasantly surprised. Honebami squeezed his hands and looked at him with a familiar light in his eyes. "I would like that someday."


End file.
